Bulletin Misprints

Let’s have some fun.  God allows that, you know, even in the church.  I believe God wants us to take time every day to laugh at the silly things in life.  “A cheerful heart is good medicine….” Proverbs 17:22 says.

Here’s some church humor to ponder.  Nothing serious here, just fun.  These are actual misprints found in church bulletins, passed along to me and collected over time.  Read closely & you’ll get a chuckle.

  • The 2001 Spring Council retreat will be hell May 10 & 11.
  • Pastor is on vacation.  Massages can be given to church secretary.
  • The ladies of the church have cast-off clothing of every kind & they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
  • Don’t let worry kill you.  Let the Church help.
  • The associate minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday:  “I Upped My Pledge – Now Up Yours”
  • A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church.  It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife.
  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?”  Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  • The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
  • The Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.  Please use the back door.
  • Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
  • Due to the Rector’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
  • The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
  • Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors, is having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Nelson’s sermons.
  • During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
  • The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.
  • Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
  • Irving Beltson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church.  So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
  • The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
  • The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
  • Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.”
  • The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

Grace & peace of Christ,

Pastor Mark